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Moose Story 2003

The location:

Park: Papineau-Labelle, Quebec Canada

Territory: 431 and 432

Cabin: Adam

The hunters:

Fred: The Pessimist

Marcel: The Optimist

Bob: Bear Bate

Rob: The Walker

Dennis: Mario Andretti

The weather:

Hot

The kill:

During our initial ‘drive through’ scouting trip, Marcel had found a spot that he liked very much. It was near the bottom of a ‘track’ off a main but long deserted logging road. Basically, the track went down a hill about 1 kilometer and ended. The track itself was poor, ATV doable, but the forest had been cleared away on either side making a clear shooting lane of about 30 to 50 yards wide. He had found moose track and felt that it would be a good area in which to ‘call’... he was right.

Despite the fact that the spot was a good 45 minutes to an hour walk from the closest point where you could bring a jeep, Marcel happily marched in, but only twice. On the afternoon of the first day, Marcel scarred himself shitless when, to his great surprise, his ‘calling’ resulted in the noisy appearance of a massive, wild eyed and aggressive black male moose that had only one thing on his mind: breeding with Marcel! The Moose sounded like jeep as he smashed his way through the woods towards the female in heat, Marcel. Nothing that stood in his way mattered; he just bulldozed through branches and small trees with cracking and snapping sounds that made Marcel’s heart beat faster while his throat grew drier and drier and made his faultless calling seem like a real big mistake. All those hours of practicing were paying off but why did it need to happen when he was all alone deep in the darkening woods of afternoon, far away from his friends, with only his pipsqueak 30-06, and his undetermined ability to shoot it accurately under pressure, standing between him and a black, crazed, wild animal standing 8 feet tall with anger in his heart and determination in his wild, dark eyes.

Suddenly, he was there! Standing at the tree line, partially hidden by saplings, nose to the air, wild eyes searching. A black mass of taught, excited muscle looking to mate with Marcel. The rifle in Marcel’s hands began to shake as he peered at the great black beast through the scope. Thoughts raced through his mind: Holy shit! He’s huge! Does he see me yet? The gun is shaking! I can’t see all of him! I can’t shoot! I’m in big trouble! He’s moving! Take off the safety! He’s coming out of the woods! I’ve got to calm down! I can’t see the cross hairs against his black fur! He’s huge! His eyes are wild! He's looking for me! Use the open sights! He’s near the middle of the road! He’s looking at me! Shoot! I can’t stop shaking! He’s looking at me! He’s moving! He’s going to turn away! He's going to bolt! I won’t get a good shot! Shoot! The sights are moving all over the place! You have to shoot! Shoot! Now! Shoot! Bang! He’s hit! He's not down! Shoot again! Reload! Reload! Shoot! Bang! Shoot! Bang! He’s down! He’s dying. It's over, he’s dead. I can’t stop shaking. It’s over. He’s huge. I’ve got to go over to him. He’s dead. I need to signal the other guys. Reload and fire the 3 shot warning. Bang! Bang! Bang! Try the walkie talkie. He’s huge! I need a cigarette! Holy shit, I hear another one coming!

The extraction:

Fred and Bob, who had been taking a long, circuitous stalk & walk along a road which ended near to where Marcel was hunting, were the first to arrive on the scene of the kill. They were not that far away and with a little bush whacking and a little luck they arrived in just minutes - just in time to hear the second moose bulldoze off through the woods.

Fred, Bob and, a still in shock Marcel, began to gut the monster. Moving him into workable positions was nearly impossible and very exhausting work.

Rob and Dennis were less than 1 kilometer away, as the crow flies but, they were not crows. They had heard the shots and were certain that Marcel had downed one. Hurriedly, they walked the 2 kilometers back to where they had parked Marcel’s jeep. Reaching Marcel by walkie-talkie as drove out, they were able to confirm that he had been successful. It was getting to be late afternoon. They knew that they had to get back to the cabin and pick up the moose extraction stuff quickly as darkness was only a few hours away. Taking a moose ‘out’ after dark is not desirable but they had done it before (Moose II) and it looked like they were about to do it again. And then it dawned on them that they need Fred’s jeep to make it all work…

Fred’s jeep had the only trailer hitch which meant that they had to find it and/or Fred first. They drove toward where Fred said that he was going to leave his jeep, all the while hoping that Fred had also left his keys. Fred’s jeep was parked exactly where he said it would be and the keys were in it! They parked Marcel’s jeep, leaving the keys in case Bob, Fred or Marcel walked out. Rob and Dennis then drove back to the cabin in Fred’s jeep, making verbal lists of the things that they would need to pick up to extract the downed moose: Trailer, ATV, chainsaw, rope, flashlights, water and beer, axe… it was getting late.

At the cabin, the rehearsal done as they drove back paid off. In minutes the trailer was hitched, the ATV was loaded and all the rest of the gear was packed into the back of the jeep and Dennis and Rob were off! Back to Marcel's jeep they drove wondering if someone had walked back to Marcel’s jeep to show them the way to the kill. They assumed that the site of the kill was the place they had all visited the day before during the scouting. From the sound of the rifle shots, this seemed like a good bet. Arriving back at Marcel’s jeep they found only deepening dusk. The walkie talkies didn't work well in the hilly, heavily forested terrain - none of the guys responded. They grabbed as much of the equipment as they could and sped off up the road with Rob holding onto the gear and the ATV for dear life while Dennis did his Mario Andretti impersonation. Both were quietly hoping that they would easily locate the guys. It was getting darker.

Without any real difficulty (they drove right by it at first and then quickly recovered from their error) Dennis and Rob found the turnoff to Marcel’s territory and headed down the rutted and over grown path. As they continued downhill, the forest on each side path receded until the trees were a good 40 yards apart. Finally, near the very bottom of the hill, they saw 3 figures facing uphill towards them with a large black object at their feet. As the ATV team drew closer, they could see that Fred was covered with sweat and blood and looked exhausted. Bob and Marcel didn’t look that great either. Gutting an animal this size is simply brutal. Quick congratulations, the passing out of beer and water and then an equally quick recount of the kill after which we all plunged into ‘moose extraction’ mode. Quartering was the only answer. Off with the head. They tied it on to the back of the ATV and Dennis was off on his first trip back to the jeeps. Later it was learned that Dennis almost squashed himself to death on the first trip when the ATV almost toppled over backwards due to the heavy weight of the moose head.

Now came the quartering, which starts with the halving. Cutting each side between the ribs around to the backbone through muscle and hide is no easy chore. Once that was done, out came the chain saw to sever the backbone – 2 halves. Dennis arrived back. It was almost dark. People were tired. The chain saw was used to split the halves into quarters - chips of bone and flesh flying everywhere! One quarter was tied to the ATV and Mario was off once again. Still one half left to quarter and just enough light to do it. It was done. Dennis was back, loaded and off again. Marcel, Rob, Fred and Bob started to clean up by washing blood, bone and fur from their hands in the small puddles that had not yet turned red from blood. Then they started to gather up all the knives, saws, rifles and pack contents that littered the area. Pretty well dark now, time for one more load before total darkness. Mario returned and was off again. Total darkness; just the orange/red dots of cigarette tips could be seen. They say that it is darkest before the dawn but I beg to differ. It seems to me that the moments after it gets pitch black are the darkest - it's also the quietest and most eerie. Dennis arrived and the last quarter was tied down and he left with the chainsaw and extra gear tied to the small front rack.

Fred, Marcel, Bob and Rob gathered up the rifles and remaining gear and started to walk out with the aid of a few flashlights. Four exhausted hunters walking up a mountain track in the pitch darkness is not a pretty site. Dennis drove back and picked up Bob, dropped him off and returned. Fred and Marcel took the ATV and Dennis and Rob walked out. At the jeeps, the various moose pieces were loaded into the trailer and they were off to the cabin.

Because the moose was quartered, it was placed on plastic sheets on the floor of the screened in porch of the cabin. Unfortunately, the screened in porch was also the place that Rob slept – his refuge from the excessive snoring that night brings. He slept with the moose because quartered moose don’t snore.

The End.